Seniors and Pain
Become Your Parent's Advocate
When a loved one becomes too sick to manage their own care, it is often expected that an adult child or close relative will step in and make sure everything – from insurance to Medicare to prescription compliance to doctor’s appointments – goes without a hitch. The only problem? Most of us don’t have any idea where to begin.
The following steps are intended to guide you toward becoming your parent’s medical advocate, but we urge you to seek the advice of a lawyer or other professional for a more complete explanation of the process.
Step One: Talk to Your Parents. Begin a conversation with your parent about the role you would like to take in his or her health care. Be open, considerate and respectful but also be clear about why you would like to be more involved, and what he or she can expect from your participation. Assure your parent that his or her dignity and rights will be maintained.
Step Two: Get Official Permission. In accordance with the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) and other laws regulating privacy, doctors cannot speak with caregivers about medical situations without specific permission from the patient. For more information, contact HIPAA. (You can also e-mail the Office for Civil Rights at OCRMail@hhs.gov or call the OCR toll-free at (800) 368-1019.) Your parent must sign a HIPAA consent statement before any medical staff can discuss any details of your parent’s treatment or condition with you.
Note: If your parent qualifies for military medical benefits (TRICARE), you must obtain the TRICARE for Life Authorization to allow TRICARE to release medical information.
Step Three: Obtain Medical Power of Attorney. Medical Power of Attorney gives you the right to make health care decisions when your parent cannot. The Medical Power of Attorney form for your state is often available at the local hospital or online, but you should have a lawyer review it to ensure it is legally sound.
Step Four: Work with Your Parent to Write a Care Directive. It may be hard, but it is important to sit down with your loved one and work out a statement communicating his or her wishes for future medical treatment. This directive will be a valuable reference if he or she becomes is unable to communicate these wishes. This is not the same thing as a Living Will, but rather a map or guideline for you and the doctors to follow if needed.
Step Five: Organize Official Documents. Buy a filing cabinet and start filing all of the forms and paperwork regarding insurance, medication, diagnosis, treatment, care and legal rights that have been piling up around the house. Make copies and back-up your hard drive. Consider creating a “grab and go” document case with your parent’s vital medical, prescription and insurance information that you can bring to the hospital in the event of an emergency. Click here for a List of Important Life Documents you should have in order.
Step Six: Educate Yourself. Read as much as you can about your parent’s condition and treatment options. Keep up with the latest news by talking with doctors, conducting ongoing research and signing up for Google Alerts. In short, make yourself an expert on the disease. The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel taking the reins in your parent’s caregiving situation.
Step Seven: Talk to the Doctor. Try to establish a relationship with the doctor based on mutual respect and the understanding that your parent’s well-being is a shared goal. Ask how you can best help him or her care for your parent and then follow through. Click here for our Caregiver Dos and Don’ts at the Doctor’s Office for more information.
Step Eight: Take Notes and Ask for Documentation at the Doctor’s Office. Do not expect yourself to remember everything you are told. Ask for copies of every test result, lab write-up and x-ray and file them away for future reference. Keep a list of which doctors you’ve spoken to and what you’ve spoken about. Stick to your guns and ask for answers but bear in mind that your parent may have a hard time asking for second opinions or challenging a doctor’s diagnosis, so try to be diplomatic in your dealings with both parties.
Step Nine: Keep Track of Important Developments in Your Parent’s Health. If your parent has been having digestion difficulties, trouble sleeping, dizziness spells or any other unexpected symptom, write it down along with any activity or change in routine that might have contributed to the incident. This is important information for your doctor.
This information may be hard to collect if you are not living with your parent,. Try to ask them for specific details about how exactly they’re doing with regards to sleeping, eating, and just getting around. This is a delicate task – and one that takes some getting used to on both sides – so take it slowly and do the best you can.
The following steps are intended to guide you toward becoming your parent’s medical advocate, but we urge you to seek the advice of a lawyer or other professional for a more complete explanation of the process.
Step One: Talk to Your Parents. Begin a conversation with your parent about the role you would like to take in his or her health care. Be open, considerate and respectful but also be clear about why you would like to be more involved, and what he or she can expect from your participation. Assure your parent that his or her dignity and rights will be maintained.
Step Two: Get Official Permission. In accordance with the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) and other laws regulating privacy, doctors cannot speak with caregivers about medical situations without specific permission from the patient. For more information, contact HIPAA. (You can also e-mail the Office for Civil Rights at OCRMail@hhs.gov or call the OCR toll-free at (800) 368-1019.) Your parent must sign a HIPAA consent statement before any medical staff can discuss any details of your parent’s treatment or condition with you.
Note: If your parent qualifies for military medical benefits (TRICARE), you must obtain the TRICARE for Life Authorization to allow TRICARE to release medical information.
Step Three: Obtain Medical Power of Attorney. Medical Power of Attorney gives you the right to make health care decisions when your parent cannot. The Medical Power of Attorney form for your state is often available at the local hospital or online, but you should have a lawyer review it to ensure it is legally sound.
Step Four: Work with Your Parent to Write a Care Directive. It may be hard, but it is important to sit down with your loved one and work out a statement communicating his or her wishes for future medical treatment. This directive will be a valuable reference if he or she becomes is unable to communicate these wishes. This is not the same thing as a Living Will, but rather a map or guideline for you and the doctors to follow if needed.
Step Five: Organize Official Documents. Buy a filing cabinet and start filing all of the forms and paperwork regarding insurance, medication, diagnosis, treatment, care and legal rights that have been piling up around the house. Make copies and back-up your hard drive. Consider creating a “grab and go” document case with your parent’s vital medical, prescription and insurance information that you can bring to the hospital in the event of an emergency. Click here for a List of Important Life Documents you should have in order.
Step Six: Educate Yourself. Read as much as you can about your parent’s condition and treatment options. Keep up with the latest news by talking with doctors, conducting ongoing research and signing up for Google Alerts. In short, make yourself an expert on the disease. The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel taking the reins in your parent’s caregiving situation.
Step Seven: Talk to the Doctor. Try to establish a relationship with the doctor based on mutual respect and the understanding that your parent’s well-being is a shared goal. Ask how you can best help him or her care for your parent and then follow through. Click here for our Caregiver Dos and Don’ts at the Doctor’s Office for more information.
Step Eight: Take Notes and Ask for Documentation at the Doctor’s Office. Do not expect yourself to remember everything you are told. Ask for copies of every test result, lab write-up and x-ray and file them away for future reference. Keep a list of which doctors you’ve spoken to and what you’ve spoken about. Stick to your guns and ask for answers but bear in mind that your parent may have a hard time asking for second opinions or challenging a doctor’s diagnosis, so try to be diplomatic in your dealings with both parties.
Step Nine: Keep Track of Important Developments in Your Parent’s Health. If your parent has been having digestion difficulties, trouble sleeping, dizziness spells or any other unexpected symptom, write it down along with any activity or change in routine that might have contributed to the incident. This is important information for your doctor.
This information may be hard to collect if you are not living with your parent,. Try to ask them for specific details about how exactly they’re doing with regards to sleeping, eating, and just getting around. This is a delicate task – and one that takes some getting used to on both sides – so take it slowly and do the best you can.